I haven’t experienced being unwelcomed, but if that is the experience I would be going through, I’m not going to run away from it. Instead, I’m going to address it. There is so much to explore, so much to learn about myself. My hurts and scars, and the way I seek resolution say a lot about who I am. I would like to know myself because that will help me deal with my struggles in better healing sort of ways. And while I feel with all these feelings, I will keep a distance from those people who do not seem to value my presence in their lives.
—Nelia L. Abalos
It was ten years ago since I felt this unwelcoming feeling. It was specifically when I became an overseas Filipino worker. There was this unwelcoming ambience that I felt and it made me realised that not all people you’ll meet are all the same. Different traditions and beliefs are beyond our control. At first, it was really hard to understand. I came to the point where I’m about to give up. Working as a migrant in the country that you’re not familiar with is a challenge. Patience, faith, and my belief in the Lord was indeed tested but I always keep in mind that all of them were vital and necessary for me to keep going.
When I started serving the Lord, everything is like a magical turning point where over time, I came to accept this kind of behaviour between us even up to this day. I can still feel the unwelcoming gesture towards me. Because not all people know what your beliefs are, let alone everything that you’ve been through, I always remind myself that I am not made to please everybody and that they are not fully aware of the teachings of the Lord. As I learn, understand and cherish our Lord’s teachings, I should welcome them still despite our differences.
— Fedelis Domanico
Yes, there were episodes of my life that I felt unwelcome. So for a while I stopped communicating and I had time to reflect on the situation. Sometimes it could be my actions or words which triggered that kind of treatment. And after reflecting I prayed for enlightenment and asked for the grace of understanding. Then I took the initiative to talk to them again.
— Lilian M. Labios
I haven’t experienced being unwelcome in a friends’ group or my family circle
As we celebrate the 500 years of Christianity in the Philippines. The Chaplaincy to Filipino Migrants organises an on-line talk every Tuesday at 9.00pm. You can join us at:
https://www.Facebook.com/CFM-Gifted-to-give-101039001847033
because I know how to get along with people, and how to socialise with them. Sometimes you just need to know their passions in order to keep up and not be left out. Other people can’t avoid feeling left out and it’s inevitable to be left out in family circle or among circle of friends.
To the people who experience this kind of situation in my own point of view, maybe we can deal with this kind of situation by socialising well and find out what we have in common maybe in trips, food, things, hobbies and so on. Sometimes it’s hard for us to socialise and belong to a group because we don’t know where we have something in common so it’s better to find out so we know where we two can go together and what bonding will be suitable for your circle of friends.
— Ria Mendez Manipol
Feeling unwelcome in a group or family circle is distressing. I address this by understanding the cause — whether a specific incident, ongoing tension, or exclusion. I try to start conversations to resolve misunderstandings. If the unwelcoming behaviour persists, I set emotional boundaries. If the environment remains toxic, I will prioritise my well-being by seeking healthier relationships. I will focus on self-care, engaging in activities I enjoy and prioritising mental and physical health. Though I can’t control others, I advocate for myself and prioritise my well-being.
— Lea Marie Salmo
I have experienced of feeling not welcomed in my family circle. It was when I went home to the Philippines after 12 years working here in Hong Kong. I seemed to be a stranger to my own son. It took me not days but months, to deal with this situation. I took more courage, patience, love and most of all prayers to deal with the situation. Then I decided to quit my job and stay with my family to re-integrate with them. Gradually my son accepted me. After staying in the Philippines for a few years, I had the chance to find a new employer here. I discussed matters with him and after that he understood my reason of leaving again. This time around he had grown more mature too. We communicate often and he is now open to me.
— Carolyn Tapel
